I am slowly slipping back in to my bad habits and I know I am going to pay the price down the road, so I have to stop. I am aware of my vice of staying up late and then getting up at my normal time only to go through the majority of the day in a zombie like state, only to feel awake and ready to go again at around 8 pm. So when bed time rolls around, I am not sleepy.
All of this late night, little sleep is the worst thing for someone with my conditions but yet still I prevail. Is it that I am a self sabotaged? No. It’s that I am a vampire. I am more active at night and my personal body clock does not conform to the rest of humanity.
When I was in Arizona on vacation I made it a point to get to bed early and get sleep because I knew I had a lot of driving to do and I needed to be alert.
Now I am back home in my usual routine, I guess I think I know my routine well enough that I can get by on a sleepy head. But at what cost to my health.
I have to give myself a good slap in the face and get back to reality that I am not a well man and stop pretending and living as if I am. That does not mean walking around with a walker. That means being realistic with what my physical capabilities are, and respecting that. And getting good sleep is one of those things I must realize I need to have to stay well.