Scanning For Aliens

Monday is test number two in this group of tests that I am having done. It’s a CT scan of the abdomen. No food four hours before and I have to drink the delicious barium solution an hour before the scan. I’m being sarcastic. Ever had that stuff? They can disguise it as much as the want but it is pretty nasty.

I am not a fan of CT scans. They are the equivalent of having about one hundred x-rays at once. But a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. Pain in my abdomen? Let’s barrage you with x-rays to figure out what is going on.

I am always nervous for CT scans, not because of the machine itself, but I have this really dumb fear because of a dream I had once. In the dream they put me in the MRI machine by mistake and when they turned it on, my AICD was ripped out of my chest (a la “Alien”) by the magnets and when I looked up, the AICD was stuck to the MRI machine, and there hanging at the end of the leads was my hearts just swinging and still beating. I think I watched too many horror movies in my twenties.

I’ve had barium solutions in the past, and although they are not all that bad tasting, it is the texture that gets to me. I can eat almost anything, but since being gifted with all these lessons of physical disturbance, I get nauseous pretty easy sometimes, and certain food textures can make me want to hurl right then and there. Plus I have to drink this stuff on an empty stomach. I usually combat the nausea by drinking a little juice. No can do here.

So tomorrow I’ll go lie in the machine, hope my heart is not going to be ripped out and try not to throw up before the test. Other than that, it should be a fun day out.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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