Stepping Out Of The Fish Bowl

There is an old saying that “the last one to know they are in a fish bowl is the fish”, and I can say that has been true for me for the past few weeks. I have been angry and whiny and it has been reflecting in my recent posts. I was not realizing it until my beautiful wife gave me a reality check.

I thought it was the prednisone, but in reality, the prednisone may have contributed a small part of it. However, I self adjusted the dosage back to my regular 10mg, and still, I felt like fighting with the world.

There are five stages to grief, and no matter what, when you have a chronic illness, you are going to grieve for your old self, all that you could not do before, the person that you were before. One of the stages is anger, and it seems I am here – again.

I thought that I hit this stage already and got over it. Apparently I did not get over it all, and here I am again for a repeat performance. The good thing is realizing it, and the better thing is if you don’t and someone you love has the balls to point it out to you.

So now that I know that I have been somewhat cross and whiny, and I am sure my posts have been reflecting it, I’m going to work on it, get back to my old positive self. It really is tiring be angry. I will have to continue to remember to repeat my mantra – “be calm gentle spirit. Be calm”

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. linda says:

    Don’t let your mind control you…..instead, you be in control of your mind. I had to keep reminding myself when I would go off track. Your anger only makes things worse and tends to get out of control. You are very lucky to have someone to remind you. :o)


    1. Basil Rene says:

      I usually keep my anger in check, but this time I let it get away from me. It’s not easy, but it’s easier when you are aware.


  2. sweets says:

    Just wanted to “delurk”. I have been reading your blog for a few weeks. came across it searching for sarcoidosis blogs, as I have only recently been diagnosed.


    1. Basil Rene says:

      Welcome to my little blog, and sorry to hear about your diagnosis. If there’s anything you want to ask, pleasr feel free to email me.


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