Resolutions

Another year comes quickly to an end, and I don’t know what it is about life, but as I get older, the days and months seem to fly by that much faster, as if there were no separation of days, each sunrise melting into the next sunset. And with each new year comes the resolutions,…

Wait? Treat! Treat? Wait!

My head spins as emotions come to a head. I want to scream, shout and just yell. I need them to stop passing the buck and actually make a decision. The pulmonary doctor tells me to see what the heart doctor thinks. Then the heart doctor says see what the pulmonary doctor thinks. Holy moly…

Peace On Earth, Good Will To Man

Today, Christmas Eve, is one of the most significant, joyous days for me personally. It has always been through out my life, a day of happiness, love, joy and peace. I always remember it as a very happy day, even in years where times were not so good. It is the day I married my…

My Reply, To A Reply, On My Nurse Rant

I recently posted a blog entry “Here I Go On A Nurse Rant, Again“, about the horrible attitude of some nurses. I received the following comment on the post and I decided to share this particular nurse’s take on nurses being nice with everyone, and give my response. From “Sean”: “I guess the short answer…

Happy Birthday Dad

Today would have been my step father’s 90th birthday. He died from a heart attack at home when he was 54. I was 13. I consider him my dad as my biological father was not around. He became almost non-existent after my parents divorced. My dad was a tough man. A WWII veteran who saw…

And I Play My Little Game

I stand in the elevator and they glance at me, the other people riding up or down with me, but they avoid all eye contact. At first it’s a quick glance, then they catch my eye and look away. I look up above the elevator doors, watching but not really paying attention to the numbers…

The Envelope Please

I think that getting medical test results is very similar to an awards show, where performers sit and wait to find out if they are tomorrow’s headline or yesterday’s parrot cage liner. As I sat in my doctor’s waiting room, he was running late. (The award show is running a little over time). I was eventually led…

Entering Limbo

There is that period after you have a medical test, where you are waiting for the results, hoping that all is well, or if not, at least not too bad. The thing with being positive for active sarcoidosis in the heart is that it is considered one of the hardest forms of sarcoidosis to treat as…

An Angel I Have Heard On High

When I was around nine years old, on a lazy day with nothing to do outside due to the rain, I relaxed on the couch in the living room and was watching TV, waiting for some show or the other to come on our then black and white TV, when the station started to play…

A Pill Doesn’t Weigh Anything

When I was first diagnosed with Sarcoidosis in 2006, my BMI was 22. Wiith a healthy BMI being between 18.5-24.9, I was slim and “normal”. Now five and a half years later, with no pause in taking prednisone, my BMI is now 27.1, which translates to being 30 pounds overweight. According to my doctors, although…

Is Anything Really A Waste Of Time?

Yesterday, when I walked into Mt. Sinai for the Sarcoidosis Support Group meeting, I had this instant foreboding that it was going to be a big waste of time, and I almost turned back before I even entered the auditorium. I didn’t and I stayed for the whole thing. It turned out not to be…

Support Groups Are Not My Thing

I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis in 2006, but I never did seek out any support groups. I always had this impression of a group of people sitting in a circle, sharing. That’s not for me. I am a deeply private person. I don’t like going around even telling my friends and family what’s going in…

You Calling Me Thin Skinned?

I am getting black and blue marks appearing on my body and I can’t remember actually walking into anything or being hit by anything. I have this huge one on the back of my leg, about three inches in diameter. Also, when I had my pet scan last week, an IV was inserted into my…

No, I’m Not a Terrorist

I went to my doctor today to discuss the findings of my PET scan and had my Helios Portable Liquid Oxygen pack, in its blue ventilated back pack with me. While signing in at the receptionist desk, I was approached cautiously by an old man who said to me, while standing at a “safe” distance,…