Baby Come Back

Last night my wife put a baby picture of me along side a more recent photo of myself in a frame on her desk. It’s me, less than a year old, in a cloth diaper, sitting on a curb in a rural part of my mother land, with grass behind me, and I am laughing.

I have seen this picture a million times, but last night was the first time I really saw that baby in the picture. The one, sitting there without a care in the world. No thoughts or worries about tomorrow, just living for the moment. That baby boy, carefree, not knowing, and would not find out for another 45 years, that he has a hole in his heart. He shows no signs, no symptoms. And he doesn’t care.

And as I really looked into the childhood face of mine, I realized that child was still in me, to some extent. I always lived for the day, never really worried about the future, even in the toughest of times. And that baby showed something in his eyes that I never noticed before. Resilience. There it was in my eyes from a baby.

And so, just as that baby could care less about what was going on around him, that’s how I have treated all my conditions. I don’t think about them constantly. I don’t ponder my mortality. I will die one day, we all will. So why worry about it. Live your life to the fullest. You may just have another hour or two. Breathe in the clean air nature provides and let it nourish you, your body, your soul. Don’t think about the fact you have trouble breathing. Think about the fact you can still breathe and enjoy it, no matter how difficult it is.

Look for a baby picture of your self, and try to go back to those care free days and just enjoy life like that baby did.

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