Resilience

Resilience – an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change

If you follow my blog, you already know the list of my conditions as a result of having sarcoidosis. If you don’t, then check out “My Story” above in the tabs. I experienced a lot of life changes due to my health in the last seven years since learning that I have sarcoidosis, and in that time I had four major surgeries, and a million and on lab tests of various kinds. And through it all I never once asked “Why Me?”, or complained or bitched about any of it.

When I first found out that I have sarcoidosis, I told no one. Only my wife knew. Why? I have a policy of if it does not affect you directly, and there is no benefit for me, then there is no need for you to know. What benefit would I derive from telling people I have sarcoidosis? None. Only unwanted sympathy, which does not benefit the person receiving, but the person giving. Think about that one for a sec.

When the doctor finally told me that the years of testing and being told I hade everything from VD to Tourette syndrome (yep, doctors eventually grasp at straws), that there was a name for what I had, and it was not all in my head, I didn’t know what the hell the disease was. And I did not panic. I did not become afraid. I did not cry. I took a deep breath and just coolly asked “Is it fatal?” When the answer was “No”, I just said ok and moved on from there. I understood that I needed to go on medication and that it could be treated, but not cured, and I accepted my fate. I just continued to live my life day by day. I didn’t stop living because of the disease.

A friend of mine found out he was type 2 diabetic around the same time that I got my sarcoidosis diagnosis, and it was a different reaction for him completely. He told everyone that would listen, sending emails to everyone in his list, and his email was desperate. At the time I could not understand his reaction.

And I could never understand when people panic or become visibly upset over what to me seems a trifle thing. I had migraines all my life, and I just quietly work through them, while others need to go to bed for days and shut them self in. It constantly baffled me. Until one day I learned that some people are born resilient and some are not. It is just a simple fact. Not everyone handles a situation the same.

I once was working in a restaurant and the stove caught on fire. It was a big blaze. While everyone around me panicked, shouting and running, I just took up the extinguisher and let that thing rip. The fire went out, I put down the extinguisher and just went back to my work, quietly. At the time I could not understand why the panic. I never panic. I don’t ever remember panicking.

And it is just a genetic thing i learned. Either you are resilient or you are not. I am one of the resilient ones. Able to go with the flow, accept change and move on. Maybe that is why I do so well with my conditions. one day I feel great, and the next i feel like crap. I don’t let it get to me and I just accept it for what it is.

Now, when I hear people complain about what to me seems a trivial thing,  Ihave a different outlook on it. Although i do find it annoying to some degree, i now accept that probably they are not resilient and just don’t know how to handle the changes that are occurring in their lives.

 

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Gretchen Dale says:

    Sounds to me that you lack empathy for others. You may have been born “genetically resilient” but appear to missed out on the empathy and compassion gene! I don’t have a word to describe someone that would not understand why someone with a migraine headache would need to excuse themselves to a dark quiet room until it passes (though I’ve never had a migraine). And on those “crappy” days you have….if your work life required you to perform at a very high level and make decisions regarding other people’s lives, would you really feel you were doing your best for those people when you felt “crappy”? Personally, I would prefer that person stay home on those days and address my situation when they felt better.

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    1. Basil Rene says:

      Just because one does not understand something does not mean that one does not have compassion. I will never be able to understand how someone can go through the torment of chemotherapy, which in itself is worse than the disease sometimes, without knowing for sure that it will work. That does not mean I don’t have empathy. Just the same way I can’t understand how someone can draw a total judgement on someone’s character by misreading one line. And though, that does not make me judgmental does it?

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