Resilience – an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change
If you follow my blog, you already know the list of my conditions as a result of having sarcoidosis. If you don’t, then check out “My Story” above in the tabs. I experienced a lot of life changes due to my health in the last seven years since learning that I have sarcoidosis, and in that time I had four major surgeries, and a million and on lab tests of various kinds. And through it all I never once asked “Why Me?”, or complained or bitched about any of it.
When I first found out that I have sarcoidosis, I told no one. Only my wife knew. Why? I have a policy of if it does not affect you directly, and there is no benefit for me, then there is no need for you to know. What benefit would I derive from telling people I have sarcoidosis? None. Only unwanted sympathy, which does not benefit the person receiving, but the person giving. Think about that one for a sec.
When the doctor finally told me that the years of testing and being told I hade everything from VD to Tourette syndrome (yep, doctors eventually grasp at straws), that there was a name for what I had, and it was not all in my head, I didn’t know what the hell the disease was. And I did not panic. I did not become afraid. I did not cry. I took a deep breath and just coolly asked “Is it fatal?” When the answer was “No”, I just said ok and moved on from there. I understood that I needed to go on medication and that it could be treated, but not cured, and I accepted my fate. I just continued to live my life day by day. I didn’t stop living because of the disease.
A friend of mine found out he was type 2 diabetic around the same time that I got my sarcoidosis diagnosis, and it was a different reaction for him completely. He told everyone that would listen, sending emails to everyone in his list, and his email was desperate. At the time I could not understand his reaction.
And I could never understand when people panic or become visibly upset over what to me seems a trifle thing. I had migraines all my life, and I just quietly work through them, while others need to go to bed for days and shut them self in. It constantly baffled me. Until one day I learned that some people are born resilient and some are not. It is just a simple fact. Not everyone handles a situation the same.
I once was working in a restaurant and the stove caught on fire. It was a big blaze. While everyone around me panicked, shouting and running, I just took up the extinguisher and let that thing rip. The fire went out, I put down the extinguisher and just went back to my work, quietly. At the time I could not understand why the panic. I never panic. I don’t ever remember panicking.
And it is just a genetic thing i learned. Either you are resilient or you are not. I am one of the resilient ones. Able to go with the flow, accept change and move on. Maybe that is why I do so well with my conditions. one day I feel great, and the next i feel like crap. I don’t let it get to me and I just accept it for what it is.
Now, when I hear people complain about what to me seems a trivial thing, Ihave a different outlook on it. Although i do find it annoying to some degree, i now accept that probably they are not resilient and just don’t know how to handle the changes that are occurring in their lives.