Keep Your Life On A Need To Know Basis

I spend a lot more time at doctor's offices and labs than the average person, at least once a month. At least. My doctors thankfully almost always run on time, so seldom do I ever have to wait more than five minutes before I am called in. But, even in that short time span, almost always, there will be that one person that comes in that has to broadcast to all and sundry, exactly all of the ailments they have, and all the problems they carry around with them.

I know that I made this point previously in another post, and one commenter basically told me that I had no empathy. I have a lot of empathy, but I do not see the need to tell everyone that I meet or who would listen that I have pulmonary and cardiac sarcoidosis, heart failure, pulmonary hypertension, an implanted defibrillator and a hole in my heart that was repaired but still leaks slightly.

What purpose does it serve to tell everyone you meet about your conditions? Does it affect them directly? Does your telling them about you make their life any better? What service does telling anyone else about your condition provide? You may be feeling alone in a storm but what can anyone do for you by telling them your business? Is it that way down in side people want everyone to just say “everything is going to be ok”? No matter how many other people tell you that, it's only when you believe that everything is going to be ok, and when you know the truth in your heart that it will be so.

I tell no one other than a select few about my conditions, and the only people that know, really only know because it will affect them directly. My boss knows, but no one else at work knows because it does not affect them directly. I am able to do my work and better than most people that are healthy can.

I don't want to be treated any differently that I was before. I don't want to be thought of as “less than capable”. If I am unable to lift something because of weight lifting limitations due to my heart failure and pulmonary hypertension, and if I need help, I just say I can't lift it because I have a bad back and need help. No need to go into a whole lot of crap about my conditions.

The next time you have the urge to tell a complete stranger about your conditions, first think, what purpose does it serve THEM (not you), and how do THEY (not you) benefit from this information? If the only answer is for your own benefit, then be silent.

When you go about telling all and sundry about you chronic conditions, really, deep down inside, you are looking for sympathy. Think about that deep and hard. If the person you are telling is in no way affected by your illness, then why do you need to tell them other than for your own benefit. And themore you talk about your conditions to everyone, youare also feeding the energy of your conditions, helping it to grow and prosper.

And before anyone comments that I have a blog and that I am blasting all my conditions on it, remember that people chose to come here and read it. It's their choice to gather the info I put on here about myself. There is a big difference to standing in a doctor's office or supermarket and crying to anyone who does not want to hear.



2 Comments Add yours

  1. lmcurry13 says:

    I too spend a lot of time in doctor office waiting rooms, labs and hospitals. I know the type of person you are taking about. And while I don’t disagree with what you are saying, I have just come to understand that some people are just needier than others. These people have probably always been this way but now that they are sick they have learned that they can get even more attention by “over sharing”. I don’t fault them for it. I feel badly for them because to me they are sad people. And you can tell the difference between these people who talk to you in the waiting rooms and the people who are genuinely frightened. I don’t mind listening to people who seem be genuine in their fear. We’ve all been there.

    And my situation is a bit different than yours because a lot of people know that I am sick. I didn’t want it that way but for reasons I won’t go into now, it just happened that way. It is hard when a lot of people know your business. They do treat you differently. They start to define you by your disease when you don’t even define yourself that way. In my case, it has been pretty frustrating so limiting the number of people who know is good advice if it can be done!


    1. Basil Rene says:

      Thankfully I have always been a private person. My mother always says that I was a “secretive” child. I went off once when I was 8 and auditioned for a television talent show and my parents only knew about it when they got the call from the TV station to say that I got on. My mum took the call, otherwise I may never had said anything to anyone. 😀. (It was a different time back then when an 8 year old could be off by himself and no one worried)


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