So Your Friends Can’t Get Away From You Fast Enough Because Of Your Illness. Did You Ever Stop To Think It Might Be Your Attitude?

It's a common complaint among the world of Those with chronic illness, ” I have lost all of my friends because of this disease”. It's easy to blame the disease because it did change you, no matter what. Some people are just not strong enough to face the new you, and you have to let them go. That's their thing, and you should never take it personally.

There is another side to the coin, because friends get a bad rap for abandoning their newly ill friends. The fact is, have you listened to yourself lately? Are all conversations now focused on you and your illness? Who really wants to hear about your latest ache and pain every time they talk to you?

When people ask “How are you doing”, they really don't want a whole detailed list of your bowel movement time table, or the current position of your pain scale. They don't understand it, and you will eventually come across as a whinny pain in the ass.

Try to keep the conversations as they used to be. If the ask how you are, just give vague generalized answers. Don't be “The pain in my chest was so bad today, it felt like some one was drilling a hole with a slow manual drill. And I couldn't sleep with the horrible headache that I had. My pillow felt like a brick. And …”. Instead just say ” I had a kind of rough day this morning, but I feel better now. Thanks for asking”.

Also, don't get all upset when the worst part of your friend's day was the fact that the barista at Starbucks got their order wrong. Be happy for them that was all. It was. Yes you are dying in your head, but it's not about you at that point. Everybody's bad is relative. Don't start comparing your bad to their bad.

If you are looking for constant sympathy and you need to constantly complain about your crap, you will be alone, guaranteed. So when your friends are all slipping away, yes, some may not be able to handle your disease, but more than that, no one wants to be around a person that is constantly trying to bring everyone else down with them.

 

 

One Comment Add yours

  1. Excellent! I so agree and could not have said it better!

    Liked by 1 person

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