Yesterday as I sat in the returns section of Ikea, waiting for my number to be called, a heavily “processed” woman, along with her “DUFF”, sat on the bench opposite to me. The only way I can describe the woman is that if goldfish made pornography, she would be the female lead.

As I sat playing Candy Crush on my phone, I could see the goldfish looking at me up and down in what I assume was an attempt to show disdain. As I looked up at her, in a most annoying “I think I am so cute” voice, she looked at me with a snide expression and said “brown shoes with a grey pants, where the hell did you learn to dress like that?”. With that she burst out laughing.

I waited until she was finished having her good laugh over the fact the I was wearing a pair of charcoal grey cargo pants with dark brown hiking boots, stood up and said, “When I get home tonight, I am going to be able to take off my brown shoes and grey pants. The question is, what the hell are you going to do about that face?”


Written by Basil Rene

I maintain two separate blogs. One is where I discuss my life with sarcoidosis and the other is, where as the name implies, I talk about food.


  1. Ohmygosh! I shouldn’t be laughing but you are hilarious! It’s sad when people are so insecure with themselves that they feel like they have to alter their face/body and then insult others who don’t fit into their idea of fashion sense.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You hit the nail on the head. It’s all about insecurity. I try not to get mad with people, but I have very little patience with stupidity, and if anyone tries to insult or belittle me in any way, I always seem to have a very quick comeback that brings them back down. My wife teased me that she was just probably trying out a new pick up line. I said the only line she would have probably had a fish hook on the end attached to her lip.


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