Yesterday as I sat in the returns section of Ikea, waiting for my number to be called, a heavily “processed” woman, along with her “DUFF”, sat on the bench opposite to me. The only way I can describe the woman is that if goldfish made pornography, she would be the female lead.
As I sat playing Candy Crush on my phone, I could see the goldfish looking at me up and down in what I assume was an attempt to show disdain. As I looked up at her, in a most annoying “I think I am so cute” voice, she looked at me with a snide expression and said “brown shoes with a grey pants, where the hell did you learn to dress like that?”. With that she burst out laughing.
I waited until she was finished having her good laugh over the fact the I was wearing a pair of charcoal grey cargo pants with dark brown hiking boots, stood up and said, “When I get home tonight, I am going to be able to take off my brown shoes and grey pants. The question is, what the hell are you going to do about that face?”