The Visit

I heard a car which I did not recognize coming up my drive, and turning to look, I quickly scanned my memory for any forgotten appointments. None came to mind as a man, who I instantly recognized as my neighbor from down the street exited his car.

“Hi there Basil” he said cheerfully as he approached me, hand out stretched.

“Hey there! How are you?” I asked, semi-approaching him, not knowing his name and wondering how he knew mine as I never actually met him, but know him from driving by his house and mutually waving at each other.

“What's up?” He asked in a somewhat puzzled way.

“Nothing much” I said, wondering what his visit warranted.

“You one of those global warming fanatics?” He asked blatantly. I was stunned by the very out of the blue question

“I wouldn't say that I am a fanatic, but …”

“You probably one of the Gore people hoping to hell he runs for the presidency too!” He said as he cut me off.

“I had no idea he was planning to run” I answered, now very confused by the direction of the conversation.

“Well, it's all a bunch of crap. You hear me Basil! All a bunch of crap! Polar caps melting! Sea levels rising! Cities like New York under water! Blah blah freaking blah! It's all bull shit” he said angrily.

“Ok … I don't have an opinion really but …”

“Papers today said July was the hottest month on record and the droughts all over the world are proof about global warming!” he interupted me again. “Damned conspiracy writing is going to send everyone into a bloody panic I tell you! It's all bull shit!” he screamed and abruptly turned and returned to his car. He suddenly stopped and turned to me as he pulled open his car door, tears of anger in his eyes and said angrily “Just so you know, the town is starting to crack down on people building shit without permits. Just a heads up. Have a good day Basil”

I watched as he reversed down my driveway at top speed, out into the road, and screeched off.

“Now that was odd! What the hell was that all about?” I wondered as I returned to putting the last of the nails in the bow of my ark.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living, dead or overly sunburned is purely coincidental.


4 Comments Add yours

  1. BunKaryudo says:

    Ha ha! You fooled me with that one! I can often spot punchlines trundling towards me long before they arrive, but this one just seemed to spring out of nowhere.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Basil Rene says:

      Glad you liked it. I think this one went over a lot of people’s heads.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. BunKaryudo says:

        That’s a shame if people didn’t get it. The funniest jokes are often the ones you don’t see coming.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Twyla says:

    My laugh for the day ……he sounds like one of my relatives !

    Liked by 1 person

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