Life in general, and especially when you have a chronic condition, is a roller coaster ride, isn't it? It seems that when ever anything good is happening, everything good happens. And then something negative rolls in, and it seems everything goes down hill.
Earlier this year, I was on the crest of the ride. Everything was really going well. I had a right heart catheterization that showed I no longer had pulmonary hypertension. My heart function had returned to “normal”. Life was looking up.
Then now here I go down hill. I did a follow up echo cardiogram to make sure that everything was still okay, and happily, the pulmonary hypertension is still gone, but (there is always a “but”, isn't there?) it appears my heart function has dropped back by five percentage points.
That news didn't bother me so much as I knew I was not exercising as much as I should and I put back on eight pounds, so maybe that was the reason for the drop. But then when your doctor brings back up the issue of “eventually” needing a heart transplant, it can put a damper on your day, no matter how positive a person you are.
Then, in my usual positive self, I pulled myself out of the doldrums and moved on with the determination to lose the weight I put on, plus some, exercise more, and get my heart function back to normal. Then I get the phone call that my mother, who lives 2,200 miles away as the crow flies, suddenly lost the use of her legs.
It's not easy being far away and not being able to physically help. Then to get the news that after tests, she has a tumor on her spine, and at the age of 84, she does not want to have it operated on. She does not want any treatments.
Works has been crazy busy, which is very untypical for this time of the year, and I have carved out a week to head home to see my mum, and I think everything has gotten to me emotionally and physically, an yesterday I woke up with a full blown cold. Colds usually creep up on me, but this time it is in with a roar. Now my body is making sure that I take it easy, forcibly making me slow down when I don't have the time to do so.
Every night has its day, and every rainy day, its sunny, so I know that things can only get better from here, and they will. They can only.