Recently, my mother could not walk anymore, and long story short, she now lives in an assisted living home. Since she decided that she will no longer be socializing outside of the home, she distributed her jewelry between her daughters-in-law and her one niece. I inherited my grand step mother’s wedding ring and a small elephant carved out of ivory.

Firstly, my dilemma with the wedding ring. My step father inherited it when his mother passed away in the 70s, and he wore it every day. When he died, my mother held onto that ring for 30 years, and a few years ago, she gave it to me. I didn’t feel right having it, and I gave it back to my mother. I felt that I was not his blood, and that it should go to his direct family. A couple of years later she gave me back the ring because she knew that I was like a son to my step father and he was my dad. I held onto the ring but still felt uncomfortable with it, so I decided to see if I could find my step father’s sister. I learned that she died many years before, and that no one knew how to get in touch with her only daughter.

That left me with my step brother, who now lived in England. I called him and told him that I had the ring and wanted to get it to him. He said he had no interest in the ring and that I should keep it as I was more of a son to his father than he was (they had a tumultuos relationship). My step brother has two sons and I asked if they might want it. He said I would have to ask them. I got in contact with them and neither wanted the ring. I really think that if everyone saw the ring, they would not have been so dismissive to be honest.

Anyway, no one wanted it. I gave it back to my mother and told her to melt it down and make something for herself with it (suggested by my step brother). She took it, and needless to say, she did nothing with it and handed it back to me.

Now I don’t know what to do with it. Everyone is telling me to melt it and make something with it (It’s a very hefty piece of gold). One of my step nephews has a daughter, now seven years old. Maybe I will hold on to that until she is older and can appreciate that it is her great great grand mother’s ring.

Then there is the elephant. My father gave that to my mother about 62 years ago, and she kept it. My parents divorced when I was 3 and my father was an absentee one. He was never around and my step father was my dad. My father was just a sperm donor. In the last year of his life, however, when he found out he had terminal cancer, he tried to rectify himself (as most people do when death is facing them). I had no hard feelings towards him as I really didn’t know the man. He was barely in my life up until I was 16, and then I never saw him again after that. I was living in the US at the time he died, and he died a destitute man. So I have nothing from him, until my mother gave me the tiny little ivory elephant, and although they divorced and went their separate ways, it obviously meant a great deal to her because she kept it in her safe all those years. I never even knew the thing even existed. It’s less than inch tall and it is the cutest little thing.

The thing is that I have a thing against ivory, so my consciounce is battling with my sentimentality of this being the only thing I have from my biological father.

When I think of it, the thing is over 60 years old, and I can’t turn back time and give it back to the elephant that was more than likely killed to get the ivory from, but if we all had that attitude then poaching of ivory will never stop.

The dilemma of them both, as they are both the only items I have from the two men that are responsible for me as I am today.