I started this blog Seven years ago to chronicle my journey with sarcoidosis, and at the time I called it “Life with Sarcoidosis”. I did it mostly for myself as a journal of sorts. I never intended or expected anyone to follow it, but over the years I did gather a small following, and that changed everything.
As I got more followers, readership increased and so did the questions, the advise and request for an answer. People are desperate for answers, especially for a disease that has none. I would get emails every day from people asking what medications they should take and what treatments they should pursue. I even got a very abusive response from someone that I was a fraud if I was not willing to give answers. How could I give answers if I don’t have them. I am not a medical professional. It’s not an advice blog.
It seemed people could not understand that, plus I was getting better and I had less to write about my symptoms and side effects. I was told that my improvement was an anomaly and not the norm, so I changed my blog to Life As An Anomaly because there were other things I could write about, other than my disease.
Therein lies my quandary. I don’t have that much to write about the disease anymore, so I decided I would write more about my life in general. Realistically, no one really cares about some unknown from the east coast. People just want celebrity news. I decided to write anyway, and writing takes time if you want to write what you consider to be quality writing. I like to dedicate at least an hour to each post.
An hour may not seem like much, but I barely have an hour to breathe sometimes. I am constantly going. I am trying to write a book and I haven’t been able to get much of that done. I was hoping to be finished with the book by now, but I have written barely more than a chapter.
When I take my brief spare time and dedicate it to writing on here, and then just one or two people read it, I begin to wonder what is the point of doing this any more. No matter what, ego steps in. I have pondered shutting the blog completely, but my older sarcoidosis posts still continue to get a lot of traffic, and I still get emails with questions, but mostly that my blog has helped some people. Shutting it down when it could have helped another? I pay for the domain name and wonder if I should continue to pay to keep the domain and let people find the blog. Then if I no longer post and keep the blog to just allow seekers to find the old posts, it eventually looks like an “abandoned” blog, and when I come across those, I just move on, and assume others would too if they come across mine.
As you can tell from this post, I am one confused bunny. Do I continue to write and no one reads? Do I stop writing and let people find my old posts, with the knowledge that eventually it will look like a dead blog? What do you think I should do? Please be honest, I don’t need my ego to be polished.