I have a friend who is very wealthy and somewhat lives in a bubble where he almost believes that everyone has great disposal wealth and can purchase anything at a moment’s notice. On the other side I have another friend that is not wealthy and seems to struggle.
My phone has been giving trouble for the past month or so and I was hoping it would hold out until the new model iPhones come out in fall. My wealthy friend has been telling me to “just change it”, and when I said I was waiting for the new models to come out in fall, he nonchalantly said “so, get the new one then” as if everyone had $900 sitting around to buy a phone now and another $900 in two months to get the newer model. He was not being obnoxious about it, it is just his world, having no quandaries about spending that sort of money. To him, it’s pocket change.
I never bothered to explain to him that I am not in the same financial situation and just shrugged.
Well, my phone eventually was acting up to the stage where resetting and all that good stuff was not helping and I was traveling internationally last weekend and it would not be a good thing to be in a foreign country without a working cell phone.
I finally succumbed, went to the store and changed my phone for a new iPhone 7 Plus. I decided to get the bigger phone which was not that much more per month on the two year payment plan, than the regular sized phone.
The day after I met with my other friend and I pulled out my phone to check a message and he saw it.
“New iPhone?” He asked. I nodded.
“Must be nice to be able to afford to buy a new phone every year” he commented. I just shook my head and put the phone back in my pocket. Again I never bothered to explain to that friend that I bought it on the ATT two year plan at $36 a month.
I don’t worry to explain anything to anyone any more. People are just going to judge you no matter what and defending yourself is sometimes pointless. When they make statements to you about you, they have already formulated their concept of you in their head and in most cases explaining looks more like you are defending yourself.
To my wealthy friend, I have the disposable income he has and to my other friend I have the disposable income he doesn’t have. To each of them, that is their truth and I have no time or energy to give them my truth.
How do you handle people’s preconceptions of you? Do you defend yourself or do you just let it slide?