I never go to Dunkin Donuts but I had a mean cravng for coffee and although it is 34°F, I wanted a frozen coffee. I don’t know Dunkin’s menu and this being a kiosk at the airport didn’t have a menu board.

Me: “Hi. What type of frozen coffee drinks do you have?”

Woman: “Hot Chocolate and coffee”

Silence as I try to summarize the situation.

Me: “Ok. Do you have any frozen coffee drinks?”

Woman: “Hot chocolate and coffee”

Maybe she can only say those two phrases? I think

Me: “Do you sell any frozen drinks like Starbucks Frapucino?”

Woman: “You have to go to Starbucks for Starbucks. This is Dunkin Donuts.”

Me: “I know it is Dunkin Donuts. I want a Dunkin Donuts frozen coffee. Do you have any syrup flavors?”

Woman: “Blueberry”

Me: “Blueberry syrup for coffee? Really?” – I ask incredulously

Woman: “No. It doesn’t have coffee.”

Me: “Eh?”

Woman: “It’s frozen”

Me: “No. I don’t want a frozen blueberry drink. I want a frozen coffee drink you put in a blender with a flavored syrup and blend until it’s like a slushy.”

Woman: “You want a slushi?”

Me: “No! A frozen coffee drink”

Woman: “Hot chocolate or coffee”

Me: “Coffee”

Woman: “Small or medium?”

Me: “Medium. Thanks. Do you have any syrup to add to the coffee?”

Woman: “Hot chocolate or coffee”

Silence. The woman poured out a cup of hot black coffee into a paper cup and put it on the counter in front of me. I drove down to Starbucks.

NB: For all the internet trolls out there, this story is not intended as a negative comment on Dunkin Donuts nor is it meant as an endorsement of Starbucks. This is a story of miscommunication between two humans.