Want To Know Why You Lost All Your Friends When You Became Sick? It’s Because You Also Became An Ass!

In emails from chronic illness sufferers and blog posts from the same, there is a common thread. “All my friends have abandoned me”. Admittedly, there are some real jerks out there that split the moment the going gets rough, but there are those that stick around. And then “all of a sudden”, they disappear.

Then you get angry, shocked and baffled by their sudden change. Oh, what a mean person he or she is. In my hour of my greatest need, they disappeared on me. They are terrible! They are selfish! I hope they rot in hell.

But seriously, take a second to stop and really look at how you have changed. Yes, it is a big change, but no matter what you tell yourself, you are angry. You are pissed and you want everyone to know it. And in so doing, you want everyone to pay you attention, all the time.

You sit and you wait for a friend to call you to see how you are doing. You are the sick one. People should check in on you. But your friend’s lives are still going on. They have their shit to go through. Ever thought of giving them a call to check in on how they are doing? And not a fake check in so they can ask you about you, and then you spill your guts all over them.

People know you are sick, and they don’t constantly want to hear about your sickness. Really, they don’t. I absolutely hate those memes that go around Facebook and Twitter where people say that no one believes them because they don’t look sick. Really? What the hell are you going around telling everyone that you are sick for in the first place? You are obviously looking for sympathy in every corner you can find it.

I have a policy, unless my illness directly affects you, there is no reason you need to know that I have any illness. I work with people for years and they have no idea that I have heart failure and walk around with a defibrillator in my chest. I have limitations on what I can do, such as lifting anything heavier than 40 pounds. If I don’t want to lift anything, I say I have a back injury that prohibits it. I don’t go into the whole story of my life. And that’s because I am not looking for sympathy.

So please stop complaining about people not paying you attention. Get your ass off of the floor, dust your self off and stand tall. You are sick. Get over it. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. Live your life to the best of your ability. Look into other modalities and get yourself better. No one can heal you but you. And no one can tell you that you can’t get better. And constantly looking for attention about your illness only feeds into its negative energy.



3 Comments Add yours

  1. Clint says:

    Great post! I think we need that reminder that when we talk to people we don’t need to give them our medical history! I feel fortunate to have a group of buddies that we get together and go to lunch regularly.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kathleen Judith Toppin says:

    You have been blessed with the gift of being able to communicate so well. This is so very true and I try sometimes to communicate with others in my circle about allowing friends in when you need to. It’s a privilege, not a right when friends and others reach out to help. They have lives and issues of their own and even though your journey might be difficult, you reciprocate when necessary. Folk today seem to have lost that sense of picking yourself up and moving on. Thanks for the blog and the reminders. I always look forward to reading.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Kathleen. People in general have become major whiners and it gets annoying.


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