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I have muscle pain, and it has bothered me for three days now. It’s not a general pain all over, but in one particular muscle, my pectoralis major. That muscle that sits right in your chest.

The pain is only in my left pec, and it is a pain that I want to reach in and massage so badly. I know how to do it, I learned all this in massage school. But I can’t. I can’t because my muscle pain is caused by, and lies directly beneath my AICD (defibrillator).

Some people say that their AICD has never bothered them. Mine has made itself known from day one. It lies right under the skin, above the muscle, and mine is a lot to the left. I feel it when I lay, when I stand, when I sit.

I have become accustomed to it now, and I am not complaining. That little thing is sitting there, just waiting for the day if ever my heart goes out of whack, and it will deliver a shock to my heart to bring it back in order.

But there are times when it is uncomfortable. I just want to reach in under the skin and just move that little sucker a bit. Sometimes I grab it and shift it a little to the right. Sometimes the point where the leads enter the vein pinch or sting. It always lets me know its there.

But I can’t do anything about that muscle pain under it, and I am a side sleeper, so I think I am just aggravating the issue when I sleep on my side. I sometimes want to press the AICD against the muscle and shake it to use the device as a massage tool. But I can’t. Not that it will really do anything to the device, but the device will register the movement as me jumping around, and will check to see if my heart is compensating for the movement. Of course my heart will be beating normally, but the device will think I am jumping around and start to increase my heart beat. Funny little device I have here. Works so hard to keep me alive, monitors me all day, even my water retention. If there is a problem, my little device will actually call my doctor. Yep, it has an iPhone. Just kidding.

So I’ll just live with my muscle pain. It will subside soon, I hope. And I will not complain about my little friend in my chest, but I will appreciate that I am fortunate enough to have one.

Originally Posted September 12, 2012

Update: I continued to live with the discomfort for another two years until the AICD was replaced. When I had the new one implanted, I told the doctor the old one was uncomfortable, sometimes even painful and asked if they could implant the new one slightly to the right. The new one is smaller, slightly, and it was implanted a little more to the right as I asked and  it does not bother me any where near as much as the original one. I do get some discomfort but it is not very often. I am not acutely aware of it’s presence on a daily basis like the old one.

Written by Basil Rene

I maintain two separate blogs. One is LifeAsAnAnomaly.com where I discuss my life with sarcoidosis and the other is AChefTalksFood.blog, where as the name implies, I talk about food.

3 comments

  1. Oh my goodness, It is always so comforting to read your posts and realize that I was not losing my mind when I would questioned and/or complained. When I first got my ICD and complained about the pain they told me I was having “phantom” pains. In my mind, my response was “phantom my butt” and I replicated all your potential solutions and of course, it was not until it was replaced that I got the most relief. Adjusted and became a “back” sleeper and have done much better since. Groomed myself into accepting the ICD as just another organ which had its’ own special function and adjusted. Had it go off a few times over the years, did what I was supposed to do and just kept on living.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My first cardio-physiologist told me the same thing about I wasn’t feeling pain. He really pissed me off. I asked him if his AICD didn’t bother him. He looked at me confused and said he didn’t have an AICD. I told him “Exactly, so how the F**K would you know if it is painful or not. You telling me that I don’t have pain is like me telling you you don’t feel wind on your head because I have a full head of hair and you don’t.” He said “Touche” and apologized. I had a new doctor to implant the second one and he understood. I think the first one didn’t want to acknowledge that he implanted it too much to the left. Ego. Neither of my AICDs ever went off and I hope that they never do. Keep on keeping on Kathleen. It’s the best we can do!

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