We Don’t All See Things The Same Way

I was never one that wanted stuff. As a boy I never asked for anything because I realized from an early age that although we were by no means poor, my mother was a single mum with three boys, and I knew money was not free flowing.

My two brothers, both older, on the other hand were the opposite. They always wanted stuff and never had enough of anything. My brother just before me is one to always lament on his deprived childhood and it amazes me how two people living through the same exact experiences can remember them so differently.

One Christmas before I was ten, my mother gave my elder brother a personal transistor radio. That was a huge thing back in the early seventies. Getting one of those was like getting the newest iPhone today. I remember thinking how amazingly lucky he was because those were new and expensive at the time.

That year, we three brothers did not give each other any gifts because I think we decided not to as we each didn’t have enough to spend.

Sometime ago my sister in law was talking about how my brother really does not like Christmas because he always remembers that Christmas when he didn’t get any gifts and she felt so sorry for him.

I was flabbergasted. “That never happened!” I told her and asked my brother what she was talking about. He went on to tell me about the Christmas when we were boys and he never got a gift and went on to describe the day.

I told him he was crazy. That Christmas HE got the best gift of the three if us. A transistor radio! He could not remember that at all. I still to this day remember exactly what it looked like because I would always play with it when he was out.

It is so easy to see the same thing and interpret it totally differently. I know for a fact that the brain can take two totally different events and blend them together and create a whole new truth. I had a memory of somewhere from my childhood and when I saw the place last year, what I remembered as two buildings side by side, were actually two buildings opposite each other, on opposite sides of the street!

When someone sees something that I also saw, but their explanation is totally different than mine, I don’t immediately deny them their truth, because it is their truth. Unless of course they are just chronic liars. I try to ask them to explain again what they saw and try to see it from their perspective. And if I still don’t see it their way, then I just stick with my original interpretation, but try not to place judgement on the other person. I just think of it as their truth and try to move on.

10 Comments Add yours

  1. Susan says:

    I’m one of three sisters and we all have a different take on our childhood, more specifically, the nature of our mother. Yes, I will always say she is high maintenance, and I remember all the ways she also put us first. My siblings have sharper recall of her weakness for dramatics and using shame as her chosen parenting tool. For me, I’d have to say we three daughters have different coping skills and different levels of maturity now as adults. ( Catty, that last sentence – I’ll claim it)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Basil Rene says:

      Thanks Susan. Curious. Where are you in the line up? First, second or third?

      Like

      1. Susan says:

        Second – and yes, the cliché about the middle child syndrome – might be some truth to it!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Susan says:

        But, in my defense, I was always eager to please, function as the family diplomat. Left me as an adult with a serious weakness when it came to dealing with confrontation, ha!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Basil Rene says:

          I think each child definitely sees everything differently. I am the last of three boys and my brothers think I got away with murder. My eldest thinks he was suppressed and the middle is the one that think he was deprived. Me? I thought everything was honkey dorey 😀

          Like

  2. It is funny when people re-write history! I am sure I have done this before too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you so much for sharing this deep story. I’ll continue to appreciate more of the work my family and friends do everyday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Basil Rene says:

      And keep an open mind 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks, this was such an inspiring story to read! To me, it goes to show that, somehow, we come into life with different mindsets and personalities. I like your reminder to respect the truth of the other (there is rarely only ONE single truth, is there?).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Basil Rene says:

      I love the saying “There are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth”. Thanks for stopping by and sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

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