Originally posted January 18, 2014
This weekend I am away on business, and this morning I went to pick up some bagels at a local bagel store. I speak with an accent that is apparently not discernible to most people. I have been asked if I my accent is British, Scottish, French, Dutch, Irish, Egyptian, South African, among others.
I grew up in the English speaking caribbean, went to catholic schools run by Irish priests, and lived in the US for the past 34 years, so who the heck knows what I sound like.
At the bagel shop, the women attending were all hispanic, and spoke with thick accents. Here is how that conversation went.
“What can I get you?”
“May I get a dozen assorted bagels please?”
“Can I get a dozen assorted bagels?”
“We don’t have any”
“What? what do you mean you don’t have any?”
“We not got any”
“But I am watching a case full of them”
“Right here, in front of me. Between you and me there is a case full of them”
“Hmph. Hang on. Maria, come here please and help this gentleman”
Second woman arrives
“Yes sir, what can we help you with?”
“I am trying to get a dozen bagels”
“Ok, what type”
“Oh, no we not got any.”
WHAT THE F***!!!!??? I think to myself
“Are you people kidding me? Why can’t I just get a dozen assorted bagels?!”
“Because sir, we do not make a salt bagel!”
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